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Western Mail, Thursday, 26 December 1929, p. 2
A Symposium. The straight resident of the Raise L. (Colonel Colic) entertained the delegate of the executive at a symposium at the Naval and Military Club last Saturday night. In his welcoming speech he said he forgave them for their lack of effort in the past year and hoped they would do nothing in the future as they had done in the past.
The Rabid He-man took strong exception to Colonel Colic's remarks. He claimed that the method of counting the votes was entirely wrong, and he said he was confirmed in that opinion by Captain Tryit and Mr. Turncoat, who were both very angry with those responsible. E. Swot agreed with everything that had been said, but the Bigger Book was proof that the Stress subbranch could prove who won the war.
P.C. Myth with all the majesty of the law behind him and armed with a truncheon of rolled newspapers, wained Mr. Swot to be careful. He might now be Whistling Mast, but as an Eastern Male he (P.C. Myth) would fight to the lost leader and the tried line. Further, he said, he was not the Worst Australian in the room.
Brave Bead-Some poured oil on troubled waters when he introduced C. Fur-Gushon, who, he said, had invented some fearful "whoppers" recently, before the Stifle and Squeal Board. Kick Sad-Liar endorsed those remarks and explained that as an expert in the art, he handed Mr Fur-Gusbon the palm.
Speaking of Psalms, Mr. Cuckoo referred the gathering to the Book of Solomon and modestly claimed that his handling of the bowling green question at Haybands redounded to his credit. Colonel Ten-Ton, awakening suddenly, interjected that the subject was too dry and heatedly requested the chairman to remedy matters. In the Brew Smelters League, he said, these things would not be tolerated. The entrance of Ma-Going with a barrel cooled a hot debate.
Lea Bather then mentioned the City Beach. He thought it a shame that soldier surfers should be compelled to wear bathers. The beach authorities on Gallipoli, be claimed, showed a much wider vision. Ubet After upheld that contention. He hoped to be in a position to legislate some day and would give the people at Cottesloe the same freedom in bathing as he had enjoyed at Anzac. Jack Towser, Father and Son, and Alf's Baby were scornful. Coming from suburbs where bathing was having a demoralising effect, they thought it should be stopped. It was harmful to the growth of Algae. Bill Slogan, however, was satisfied that if they ate more fruit and said it with a turnip, all's well that ends well.
Mr. Jawnell arrived at that moment and asked if there was a motion before the chair, because, if so, he wanted to move an mendment. This was discussed until no one understood it and then Kid Some-More suggested that, as the hour was getting late, Tom Wily should tell all he knew about Pots. Mr. Wily was immersed in his subject when Watt Tiler asked what it would all cost, and insisted on reading a financial statement.
The meeting ended in disorder when Garn Fillemup shouted that the barrel was empty and members' dispersed after the chairman had extended sheashonable greeting's. (Hic.)